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I hope you will forgive me for taking considerable pride in them." If they work " Oh, they did, Dr. Ellenbogen. My entire body was resculpted, from soft tissues all the way to skeleton - breast growth, facial structure, vocal chords, shoulder and hip size, even overall height. I even grew my own vagina."I blushed at this overly personal bit of data."Don't be embarrassed, Doctor! Once you are one of us, you will find that we women can be quite frank with each other. You see, I found the common cold virus to be the best vector for introducing the new genetics." Isn't that awfully contagious for research work?" Indeed it is! Tell me, Doctor, have you had a cold in the last several years?"I stood up in shock, knocking a stack of papers to the floor. "It got out of your lab?" Yes, Doctor." How could you be so careless?" Oh, I was very careful! I very carefully released the virus in 84 cities in 2006. You see, there's another personal detail you need to understand I'm a. ‘Mom, she’s the sweetest and kindest girl I’ve met in my life.’ My mother is big on kindness, probably because if you check out kindness in that illustrated dictionary while you have it out, there’s a photo of Mom on that page too. ‘You probably could tell she is sweet and kind, even over the phone.’ ‘Yes, Charlie, I could.’ I could hear gentle sniffling over the phone. Either mom had a bad cold or she was getting really emotional. Probably a good sign. ‘And I desperately need to see her as soon as possible, to tell her I love her.’ ‘But why does that mean you can’t come to the party?’ ‘Because there’s this ass…, this nasty, self-centered person named Liam, and Amy’s been hoping for years that he would notice her. ‘Liam, your roommate? The one who looks like Brad Pitt?’ I ground my teeth. ‘Yeah, Mom, but he never realized how wonderful Amy is because she used to dress a little funny and her hair wasn’t so fashionable. But now she looks as beautiful on the outside as she always has.
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